The Happiness Game

ASPIRE Well-Being Check-In & Action Plan

A Guide to Winning at Life

ASPIRE to Build a Life You Love to Maximize Life Satisfaction

Now that you understand the game, you can more successfully build a life you love by focusing on things like amazing relationships, physical health, financial security, and work you truly care about.

ASPIRE Well-Being Check-In

Evaluating your life across the ASPIRE model requires looking beyond high-level categories like "exercise" or "self-love" and examining the specific, evidence-based metrics that reveal your true standing in each domain.

Below is the detailed breakdown of the evaluative factors for the six ASPIRE elements. Use your scores during your "Ascribe, Describe, Prescribe" check-ins to accurately determine how you are doing, explain your scores, and design precise action steps.

Start with an element overview or explore individual factors. Notes are optional.

Affluential

Preview

Financial Stability, Security, and Freedom

This section is a preview. You can add notes now while the full check-in is being developed.

Overview for Affluential

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A starting point

These early ideas are not a complete financial plan.

Spiritual

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Overview for Spiritual

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Spiritual well-being focuses on Purpose and Presence. To determine your standing in this domain, consider the following factors:

Sense of Meaning and Purpose (The "Why")

Do you have a clear, compelling reason to wake up in the morning, and do your day-to-day activities and life as a whole feel significant to you?

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Work as a Calling

Does your work feel merely like a job or career, or have you re-crafted it into a "calling" where your tasks align with a larger personal mission?

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Goals That Fit You (The 3 A's)

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How well do your goals fit who you are and what you genuinely want? Consider:

Affection

Are you intrinsically passionate about your goals?

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Authenticity

Do your goals align with your core values and how you see yourself?

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Autonomy

Are your goals chosen freely out of personal choice, rather than external pressure?

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Value-Action Alignment

How closely does the way you spend your time and energy match what you say is important in your life?

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Mindful Presence (The "Here and Now")

How well can you anchor your attention in the present moment, rather than letting your mind drift to the past (which fuels regret and depression) or the future (which fuels worry and anxiety)?

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Formal and Informal Mindfulness Practices

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How consistent are you with:

Formal Practice

How consistently do you dedicate time to formal meditation (e.g., sitting breath focus, body scans, or music meditation) to "exercise" your attention muscles?

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Informal Practice

How consistently do you cultivate present-moment awareness during routine tasks (e.g., single-tasking instead of multitasking, eating mindfully, or fully immersing yourself in a conversation)?

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Savoring the Miraculous

How well do you see the extraordinary in the ordinary—finding wonder and joy in simple things like a flower, a fresh piece of bread, or a child playing?

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Physical

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Overview for Physical

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Physical well-being is evaluated through the NEST framework (Nutrition, Exercise, Sleep, and Touch) and the Mind-Body Connection. To determine your standing, consider the following factors:

Nutrition

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Quality of Fuel

How consistently do you feed your body whole, natural foods rather than highly processed, high-sugar foods that lead to energy slumps and cognitive fog?

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The 80% Rule

How consistently do you eat mindfully and stop when you are 80% full, rather than eating to the point of discomfort?

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Hydration

How consistently do you hydrate throughout the day?

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Exercise and Movement

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Cardiovascular Fitness

How consistently do you meet the baseline requirement of at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise five times a week (or 150 minutes a week)?

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Movement Variety

How well does your physical regime incorporate a mix of activities (aerobic, walking, swimming, etc.) to engage different muscle groups?

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Daily Physical Activity / Inconveniencing Yourself

How consistently do you move naturally during your day by "inconveniencing yourself" (e.g., taking the stairs, parking further away, or walking to do errands)?

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Sedentary Prevention

How consistently do you get up and take a brief movement break (shaking your legs, moving your arms, walking 15 steps) every 20 to 30 minutes, given that "sitting is the new smoking"?

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Daily High-Intensity Bursts

How consistently do you perform daily 30-to-60-second bursts of vigorous activity (HIIT/HICT) to spike your heart rate and strengthen your cardiovascular and stress-recovery systems?

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Strength/Weight Training

How consistently do you engage in weight/resistance training at least twice a week, which is crucial for metabolism, mobility, posture, and reversing physical aging markers?

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Sleep, Rest, and Recovery

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Sleep Duration

How regularly do you get 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night?

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Sleep Rhythm Consistency

How consistently do you maintain a stable bedtime and wake-up time to regulate your biological clock?

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Intermittent Recovery (Oscillation)

How consistently do you balance energy expenditure with regular rest periods during the day, taking a focused 5-to-10-minute recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes to prevent chronic, linear burnout?

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Interpersonal Touch

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Touch Sufficiency

How well is your physical need for touch met through regular, positive contact (e.g., aiming for 5 hugs a day, physical intimacy, or massages), which reduces cortisol, lowers anxiety, and boosts immune function?

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Body Posture (Mind-Body Integration - MBI)

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Posture and Emotional State

How well do you use your posture to support your emotional state (e.g., standing tall with a straight back and chest out to reinforce self-confidence, rather than slouching, which breeds fatigue and sadness)?

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Emotional Body Awareness

How well do you notice and work with possible emotional blocks in your body (e.g., treating recurring neck/back tension or headaches as potential suppressed anxiety or anger that must be mindfully accepted and written about)?

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Intellectual

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Overview for Intellectual

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Intellectual well-being measures how you exercise your rational faculties through Curiosity and Deep Learning. To determine your standing, consider the following factors:

Active Curiosity

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Curiosity Through Questions

How strong is your desire to ask questions (who, what, where, why, when, how) to learn about yourself and the world?

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Appreciative Inquiry

How consistently do you ask positive, strength-based questions (e.g., "What is working?" or "What are my strengths?") to cultivate a healthy, balanced perspective alongside problem-solving?

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Openness to Experience

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Willingness to Try New Things

How willing are you to step out of your comfort zone, try new things, and test out ideas in the real world?

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Reflection-Action Balance

How well do you balance reflecting (curiosity) with acting (openness), avoiding both detachment from reflection without action and the blind rat race of action without reflection?

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Beginner's Mind

How well do you practice a "beginner's mind" by drawing novel distinctions—actively looking for new, unfamiliar details in everyday things you already know well (e.g., noticing a new expression on your partner's face, or hearing a new note in your favorite song)?

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Fear of Failure vs. Risking Gamely

How willing are you to try and risk gamely even when failure is possible, treating mistakes and failure as essential data points for growth ("learning to fail, or failing to learn")?

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Deep Learning (Quality over Quantity)

How consistently do you engage in slow, deep learning (reading a book deeply, playing an instrument, studying art, or closely observing nature) rather than superficial browsing, skimming, and constantly checking screens?

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Cultivating Multiple Intelligences

How actively are you developing your dominant intelligences across Howard Gardner's nine categories (verbal-linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical-rhythmical, visual-spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, existential)?

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Introspective Self-Analysis

How deeply do you learn about yourself, including through structured, expressive journaling to explore peak experiences, process difficult emotions, or write about the benefits found in past hardships?

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Single-Tasking and Simplification

How well do you simplify your life by single-tasking and saying "no" to secondary distractions, allowing yourself to fully immerse in one activity at a time?

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Relational

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Overview for Relational

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Relational well-being measures the quality of your Connections with Others, your Relationship with Yourself, and Kindness. To determine your standing, consider the following factors:

Quality Time

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Uninterrupted Quality Time

How regularly do you spend uninterrupted, screen-free face-to-face time with the people who matter most to you?

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Protecting Relationship Time

How well do your "in-use" priorities safeguard relationship blocks in your schedule from work and technology interruptions?

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Relationship Positivity (The 5:1 Ratio)

How consistently do your relationships maintain John Gottman's golden ratio: at least five positive, supportive interactions (compliments, smiles, touches, loving messages) for every one negative interaction (criticism, conflict, or sigh)?

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love Boosters / Relationship Boosters

How consistently do you use small, frequent, daily gestures of affection—sending an "I was thinking of you" text, practicing a 60-second hug before leaving, bringing home a favorite chocolate, or giving genuine, heartfelt compliments?

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Active-Constructive Responding

When others share positive news, how consistently do you respond Active-Constructively by celebrating with them enthusiastically and asking questions to help them savor their win, rather than offering a flat, distracted, or critical response?

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Being Known vs. Being Validated

How much are your relationships based on being known through your authentic self, complete with your vulnerabilities, flaws, and struggles, rather than putting on a perfect front to get approval?

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Generosity and Kindness

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Acts of Kindness

How consistently do you give back through acts of kindness (e.g., committing five or more extra acts of kindness a week)?

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Mindful Listening

How consistently do you set aside time (e.g., 10 minutes daily) to listen to another person with zero personal agenda other than simply being present for them?

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Self-Love and Self-Esteem

How strong is your relationship with yourself, including authentic self-love and self-acceptance as foundations for your capacity to love others?

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Selffulness (Sustainable Giving)

How well do your relationships stay "selfful"—balancing self-care with caring for others, placing other people's needs on the same level as your own without negating yourself or becoming a "doormat" for takers?

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Differentiation (Intimacy of Equals)

In romantic relationships, how well can you remain emotionally connected to your partner while maintaining your separate sense of self, core values, and the capacity to regulate your own emotional anxiety?

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Emotional

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Overview for Emotional

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Emotional well-being is evaluated by how you deal with Painful Emotions and how you cultivate Pleasurable Ones. To determine your standing, consider the following factors:

Permission to Be Human (Active Acceptance)

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Allowing Painful Emotions

How willing are you to fully feel painful emotions (anxiety, sadness, anger, envy) as natural parts of being alive, rather than suppressing or running away from them?

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Active Acceptance

How well can you sit with a painful emotion without condemning yourself, recognizing that accepting it allows it to pass, while rejecting it intensifies the pain and numbs your ability to feel pleasure?

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Worthiness of Happiness

How worthy do you feel of experiencing joy, love, and success, rather than holding yourself back due to guilt?

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Emotion vs. Behavior Boundaries

How well do you separate feeling from acting, giving your feelings unconditional acceptance while keeping strict, moral boundaries on your behaviors?

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Expressing Gratitude

How consistently do you practice gratitude (e.g., writing down five things you are grateful for daily or weekly) with heartfelt positivity—actually visualizing and feeling the warmth—rather than doing it mechanically?

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Pleasure Boosters

How consistently do you plan and insert "pleasure boosters" into your routine—intentional, bite-size activities that immediately lift your mood (e.g., a comedy show, a walk in the park, a warm bath, or listening to your favorite music)?

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Cognitive Reframing (The ABCs of Psychology)

How well can you monitor your thoughts and dispute irrational self-talk using the ABC Model, including cross-examining your beliefs (asking "Is this realistic? What am I magnifying?") and reframing them to experience a healthier emotional outcome?

  • Activating Event: What triggered the situation?
  • Belief: What is your automatic, potentially distorted evaluation of the event?
  • Consequence: What is the resulting emotion?
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The Emotional Barometer

How well do you use your emotional states as an informational barometer, noticing when "emotional disease" (boredom, sadness, chronic stress, or emptiness) may indicate a neglected ASPIRE element so you can take target-driven action?

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Grounded Hope

How strong is your grounded hope, combining both willpower (the intrinsic motivation to pursue a goal) and waypower (your ability to break down goals into concrete, realistic pathways)?

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